Eleventh day of the eleventh month at the eleventh hour before the finals

“Procrastination is sweet while it last”, that’s what my sister had been preaching to me since uh…two weeks ago, and the conclusion. Procrastination is low in sugar, high in sweeteners, because for the past two weeks I’d been eating birthday cakes, drinking instant coffee, dollops of Nuttella, sachets of Milo all while procrastinating, if its sugar content was any higher, I would be at the hospital waiting to get a liver transplant while talking to my imaginary left foot that’d been amputated last week.

Diabetes is real scary, my condolences to anyone who’s close to anyone afflicted with it, and no, I’m not trying to rack up karmic credit points so that I’ll do better in exams.

The time bubble should’ve burst a few days ago, but I’ll take a page from banks around the world by denying any recession while frantically trying to find lenders to inject some liquidity into them using useless toxic assets as leverage, and I know that I’ll be alright that way, because the banks got bailed out in the end, with enough surplus to send executives to spas at Switzerland and paying out millions in promised bonus to bankers in Lamborghinis even though they’re pretty much at fault for this. So if things go as planned, I’ll just toil around for these few days, bringing as many chapters down with me as possible then I’ll wait for the school to bail me out and reward me with an A+ for failing spectacularly in the finals while those consistently hardworking, diligent students would get a mere B+ or A-; The godly Simons and Jefferies and other chem. Whizzes would of course accompany me at the podium.

Speaking about gods, I’m pretty sure that I saw a report about church attendance going up during this period, in my head. But, it seems pretty plausible because it’s easy to pick a pocket when people jostle out as soon as the sermon ends. (The wallet would be filled with overcharged credit cards though, and people will start believing again because surely it’s God that gave them karmic retribution for getting a credit card filled wallet while their wallet that actually have nickels in it got nicked. People would be clinging to religion and guns more tightly than ever.)

I once wrote “as likely as a man named Hussein becoming president of the United States” as an analogy, it was during the primaries, when Hilary Rodham Clinton, (Rodham sounds like some dildo brand) was the front runner and John McCain is a few months younger and a lot less bitter. The election was a yawn then, it wasn’t until the Obama’s speech on racism that propeled the election into fever status(for South East Asians at least), and people started jumping onto Obamawagon. A number of them who probably don’t know which party he’s from, and started weighing in their opinions. Their other knowledge on American politics? Bush sucks, which by now is something you learn right after memorizing the first 14 alphabets in pre-school.

(And no, Obama isn’t the panacea to all the wrongs in the world, Asian markets might have rebounded during Guy Fawkes Day, but it’s not a cusp on some upward spiral, and mind you he doesn’t get sworn in until January. The only upside is that if McCain-Palin was elected, markets worldwide would probably go into a free fall, except for the US market, because it’ll be as maverick as its president and veep elect then.) (Bush isn’t as evil as people says too, he’s just overwhelmed with the job, kind of like how some Taiwanese idols are overwhelmed beyond doing anything harder than posing for magazine covers, or an all too easy Sarah Palin jab.)

Even then, there’s always time for moist, delicious cake. Today happens to be my roommate’s birthday, being respectful about his privacy, I’ll refrain from posting his name, but I’ll be delighted to post pictures of him, which he took himself while camwhoring around with my camera. He’s like Jacky Cheung, but with dance moves, he even wears a glove on one of his hands, though it’s not sequined like Michael Jackson’s one, with legendary mastery in the art of talking cock that freshmen tremble in their knee upon his presence and sophomores who came into close proximity with him have trouble recalling his real name probably due to some neural damage from his vibes. So that’ll probably mean more cakes today!

Updated my wordpress installation and tried a change of theme, yet to grasp how it works. The widget which shows the author as a cup of very green lime juice that says “hello, welcome to my blog”, it’s grating my nerves. It seems like my new theme deemed that a picture of a cup of lime juice might be more enticing than my real photo. The fact that it’s probably true, especially in the heat of the tropics is sending me into despair!